We rank the AFC North uniforms. Get out the kitty litter and a garbage bag.

Part 4 of our ranking divisions by uniforms covers the AFC North. The Cleveland Browns have so many combos, it’s tough to know exactly which two of their dreadful uniforms are the standard home and away. I included them all because they’re worth a good laugh. However, we start off with the…

Baltimore Ravens

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Baltimore Ravens Home Uniforms
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Baltimore Ravens Away Uniforms

Jason @CaliOrange&Blue — UGLY! Man these are god-awful, the logo down to the purple scheme just suck. Only saving grace is maybe the all-black combination, but since you still have to look at non-elite Flacco’s face, then it’s a hard pass for me.

Donte @FirstDownDonte — I like the Ravens uniforms. They are my top rated in their division. Nice colors and classic style. I specifically love their home uniforms, very slick!

Graham @GrahamTiedtke — The purple and black colours look great, however, they are FAR from E-L-I-T-E. They are just better than two of the AFCN teams.

Jules @ABroncoNole –Top favorite. The numbers are the only part that need a do-over. The dark purple with the white pants (done right with no diaper butt), plus the simple socks are a win. The aways with the black pants are a win, too. Their purple and black scheme is better than the Vikings because no yellow. Just need to shelve the ugly numbers. On their black alternate uniforms, don’t even care about the numbers. The purple on the collars makes up for it. Oh, and for being stuck with a bird as a logo, they could have done far worse and they smartly mute the logo on the killer helmets.

Kevin @ALLTHINGS18 — I think these might win by default. The colors work and Ed Reed was always a deadly Ball-hawk . No real issues jump out at at me. They changed them slightly since the Ravens were born, but for the biggest part of the franchise they have remained the same. I think if I were old man Model, I would have gone with black & purple versions of what the Colts wear/wore just as a big middle finger to the Irsay family.

Melody @ColoradoMelodyG –The only credit this team gets is that it is totally awesome to have a mascot chosen from a poem and literary legend in Edgar Allen Poe.  This is a cultural reference I endorse.  Other than that, they get no respect from me as soul sucking dream killers in ugly purple and white unis. (Nevermore shall we lose by prevent defense–JD)

Stuart @StuTheUKBronco — Much like the Vikings, the Ravens have a very good combination of white and purple. Instead of yellow like the Vikings the Ravens go with Black. The pants are a solid boring one colour and they could have added anything down the side to make them more appealing to fans.

 

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Yes, yes, oh, yes! Ravens alternate uniforms

Cincinnati Bengals

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Cincinnati Bengals Home Uniforms (hi, Domata!)
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Cincinnati Bengals Away Uniforms

Donte — They remind me of the song by Guns and Roses, “Welcome to the Jungle”. Their uniforms look more like the dress code for a restaurant at Disneyland. I do like Andy Dalton and wish them well this season, except for when they play my Broncos.

Jason — Wow, another orange color scheme…Yay? Nah, not yay…more like blech. Their helmets are absurd, the stripes on the arm look dumb, and the color kind of assaults my eyeballs. If I was forced to pick a fave, I suppose their white tops with dark pants will do.

Jules–see Browns review, but with a twist. If you’re color featured with Fall (dying things), doubtful you’ll find any in my closet. Halloween, be gone.

Graham — How can you go wrong with orange? The helmet is the best part of the team’s uniform. The stripes on the Bengals uniform are a great representation of the team name.

Stuart — Fantastic set of uniforms. From the helmet down to socks they have moved away from the stock plain jersey and pants to add orange and black tiger sleeves to match their eye catching helmet of the same design and stripes down the pants. Very eye catching colour combination and well designed set of 3.

Melody–Probably my favorite moment of all time in Bengals’ history is when they selected “Roar” by Katy Perry as their player introduction song.  Fitting to have a whiny teenage empowerment anthem for these uninspired kitty cats. Tame and lame uniforms, period.

Kevin– I remember when they broke out the helmets in the early 80’s with Kenny Anderson at QB and I like that era of uniform the most for them. The current set isn’t horrible.

Cleveland Browns

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Jules–I have a bearded dragon whose crap looks like this…first a white pile of something, then brown and sometimes a little orange. Once in a while, pieces of a worm can be seen. That’s the Browns uniforms. Reptilian crap.

Stuart — Nope. The only thing these have going for them is orange. Nothing matches and the brown matches the emoji that they represent every year.

Graham — Okay, maybe you can go wrong with orange. These uniforms are almost as bad as the team that has worn them the past eighteen years. Awful. Horrendous. Ugly.

Jason — I’ll probably be ridiculed for this, but their new color scheme/combination works for me. I’d say my fave is the orange pants with brown tops. Sucks they don’t have a logo anymore, although the pixie they used to use is better off resting in peace. *on your organ donor card, make sure to NOT donate your eyes–JD*

Melody–Frankly the skid-marks of NFL uniforms.  Fitting for a team so strongly associated with merde.

Kevin– These are horrible. As Buffalo was a good example of a team trying to combine new and old, this is just a mess. Their pants remind me of sweat pants we used to sell for fundraising that had the school name running down the leg.  If they tweaked a few things, they would be greatly improved.

Donte — Nothing the Browns do, including their uniforms, is pleasing to the eye. In fact, they have the ugliest in the NFL in my opinion. At times, I feel sorry for the first all around pick in this year’s draft, Myles Garrett. What a waste of talent on that sad, sad team. Instead of hiring a top analysis, they should hire a woman to get this team in top shape…uniforms and all. (Three women)

Pittsburgh Steelers

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Pittsburgh Steelers Home Uniforms
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Pittsburgh Steelers Away Uniforms

Jason — Truly an iconic look, keeping much of their history intact. The black tops and yellow pants look fantastic at home, the away white is pretty decent, as well. Those horrible bumblebee/prison inmate ones they wear should be burned though and never be seen again.

Graham — One of the most iconic teams in NFL history. There’s just something about the black and gold that is better to look at than the other AFC North teams. The team’s away uniform is better though.

Jules — Antonio looks like he’s about to do what I think of 3/4 of the AFCN uniforms. Ugly numbers, ugly font, ugly yellow. So much more could be done with black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow….oh, and every Pitt team is bumblebee. Every dang one. A swarm of the unimaginative.

Stuart — When you see yellow and black walking toward you there’s only one team it could be. The Steelers like the Packers have horrible yellow pants. As I’ve mentioned before I don’t like black which means the home jersey is a no-no. The helmet is pretty cool with the badge on one side only but this is a uniform I’d avoid if I was an NFL fan instead of team specific.

Melody-The 2006 AFC Championship Game ingrained such a deep abiding hatred for the damned ugly terrible towel in my DNA that all I can do when I see these hideous bumble bees is chuckle in the knowledge that Tim Tebow is responsible for taking them back down a peg.  Ugly uniforms for an ugly fan base.

Donte — The Steelers are my second favorite in the division. They have used their colors of black and gold since the franchise’s inception. They are also the oldest AFC franchise and hold the record of the most Super Bow Championships. These accolades make their uniforms iconic and recognizable around the western world.

Kevin– I was extremely surprised when Nike took over the uniforms in 2012, that they didn’t revert the Steelers back to their Block # uniforms of the Joe Greene era shown to the right. Everybody in the Steel city had the current italicized #7  jerseys, it simply made sense to go back to the block #’s that the Steel Curtain wore. If they would have, they  easily  would have been ranked #1.

Worst to First, one vote per team

4 — Browns (SB, JD, GT,K, DC), Ravens (JW)

3 — Bengals (GT, DC, JD, JW,K), Steelers (SB)

2 — Steelers (JD, DC, K), Browns (JW), Ravens (SB, GT)

1 — RAVENS (JD,K, DC), Steelers (JW, GT), Bengals (SB)

I refuse to rank them they are all the enemy (MG)

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