AFC East. Is there a more putrid division? We rank their uniforms.

For fun, we decided to weigh in on where we rank the uniforms in each division. We’ll give a short synopsis and then tally who’s worst to first. Today we focus on the NFCE. Click here for our scintillating review of the NFCE. We went alphabetically by team, so don’t read anything into the listing. A Freaking Color Emergency is this division. *warning PG-13 content*

Buffalo Bills

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Buffalo Bills Home Uniforms
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Buffalo Bills Away Uniforms

Donte @FirstDownDonteI like their uniforms. Good color scheme, nice logo and their QB is a smoke show

Jason @CaliOrange&Blue –While the P*triots went in a more modern patriotic look and color scheme, the Bills are mired in the past. They went dark blue for a bit, but the modern unis have a lighter blue for their uniforms now to go with the red and white accents. I’m not a huge fan, I rather liked when they went dark blue, thought it made them more menacing looking. Now they just look a throwback to the old Patriots uniforms. Their away uniforms are better looking, the white tops look more striking than the light blue tops for the home unis, but both are rather average to me. And their helmet logo has been the same since the 70s, maybe it’s time to switch the game up.

Graham @Graham Tiedtke -The Bills are another team drawing on red, white and blue. White pants with red and blue stripes look good with the team’s blue home jersey. I like the team’s home jersey more than the away jersey because it isn’t plain. The away jersey’s blue numbers clash with the red bordering around them. Their blue home jerseys go great with their white helmet with the stripe in the middle. The collar part of the jersey looks very good, as well.

Stuart @StuTheUKBronco–Ding ding we have an AFC East winner. The basic uniforms of the New York Giants, but with a touch of flair added to all parts of the uniform. From the same stripe on the helmet, sock top and down the side of the pants to the alternate colour on the neck line. Striped sleeves brilliantly finish the jersey off.

Jules @ABroncoNole –This Division seems to only know two pallets–forms of ugly green tones or forms of blue. The Bills seems like rip offs of the Giants, only decided to turn up the volume. Are they periwinkle or what shade is that? Purply blue and red. What could go wrong? Their helmet logos are likable even if the steam looks like snot. They’ve pretty much been the same my whole life, but what else can you do with a Buffalo?

Kevin @ALLTHINGS18 — When the Bills went through their uniform makeover a few years ago, going away from their Drew Bledsoe era uniforms (if you can call that an era), I’ll give them credit, they went with what I would call a modern retro. Their uniforms resemble those of what Joe Ferguson and O.J.  Simpson wore, but also look new and improved.  The best of the division.

Melody @ColoradoMelodyG -The only nice thing I can say about the Bills’ uniforms is that they are color complimentary to their fans’ favorite accessory for their rivalry with the Patriots.

Note from Kevin: I’m pretty sure that was Julian Edelman’s or Tom Brady’s mouthpiece. That was from a Bills/Patriots game.

Miami Dolphins

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Miami Dolphins Home Uniforms
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Miami Dolphins Away Uniforms
Miami Dolphins Throwback Uniforms

Donte — Have never have liked their uniforms. They remind me of the pool I use to take swim lessons in when I was three years old. That sounds weird right? I know. But their colors take me back to those scary days of learning how to swim. The silver lining? I love their coach Adam Gase.

Jason–I do not like the new updated Dolphin logo…the cartoony Dolphin that had lasted decades was recently replaced with a realistic one, and I for one think it looks dumb. That being said, their uniforms are just alright. The home teal with white pants is pretty cool, the almost all white road uniforms seem washed out with teal highlights, and the alternate orange is pretty atrocious.

Graham-The Dolphins aqua green colour is the most appealing out of the four. It isn’t one you see often. I like both of the Dolphins’ jersey choices. I’m a fan of the orange surrounding the numbers on both of them, but have to go with their white jerseys with the aqua numbers. Both go well with their white helmet with aqua and orange stripes on their helmet, keeping the theme.

Jules — ugh. I grew up in South Florida with rabid fins parents, season ticket holders and owners of gas station glasses with players on them. The colors back then were kitschy, and the dolphin wearing the helmet was WTF?!, but at least they weren’t in your face kitschy, but this new color scheme is just sad. The only good thing is they fixed the dolphin, what they had before last season was enough to raise Joe Robbie from the dead. And what’s with having their name on the pants? Like their teammates playing behind them need a reminder? And their alternate uniform needs shades handed out so they don’t burn your retinas. The homes aren’t as bad as away ones with their neon turquoise pants.

Stuart–Nice bright colour combinations but still, they are a solid colour without much fuss. I love the away pants and think the name and numbers look great on a white background. I feel teams like the Dolphins could have great uniforms if they put a bit of effort in. Some orange stripes down the uniform from the armpit down the pant leg to the socks would look pretty cool.

Kevin— The Dolphins look their best when they are wearing their current throwback uniform, but their current look would easily be in the lower half of the league, but if they wore home/away sets of their current throwback they’d be #1 in the AFCE and likely in the top 25% of the league, but they don’t so they will come in 3rd place in the AFCE.

Melody–Can we all just start by saying as awesome as dolphins are in the animal kingdom, this is a seriously lame and uninspiring mascot.  Thus, from the helmet on down, a failure.  I understand the team is trying to draw on its environment and culture, but it’s a complete fail.  Let me ask you–would Braveheart William Wallace wear aqua? N-O-P-E.

New England Patriots*

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New England Patriots* Home Uniforms
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New England Patriots* Away Uniforms

Donte — Hate their uniforms home and away. The only time I like their uniforms is when number 12 has grass stains and dirt marks all over it. I rate them the worse.

Jason–Like a lot of older NFL teams, the P*triots ditched their old ugly unis and went with a more modern look and color scheme. And as much as they are despised as a team, their uniforms are probably the best in the AFCE. Iconic patriotic color scheme for sure, and since they went with a darker blue in their scheme it looks even better. Alternate is just dumb, the silver look doesn’t work for them, but the away and home are equally good in my book.

Graham–The team that some people consider to be “America’s team” because of their dominance of the league since 2000. However, they are 2nd in jersey rankings. I like the shade of blue on their home jersey, it goes well with their silver helmet. The blue strip on the away jersey’s sleeve is more appealing than the white strip on the home jersey. The best thing about their entire uniform is their helmet, the silver along with the red face mask makes them appealing.

Jules — It’s tough to even look at them without having to repress the gag reflex. Like looking at 666 too long, you’re afraid the devil will pop out and posses your soul. Plus, their logo looks like a deformed sperm. It’s also missing an *. I’m ranking them last because Brady* wears them, bringing the entire uniform into the Ugg realm.

Kevin — I don’t have anything positive to offer. Their 80’s era uniforms were/are far superior to these, but I will suggest  for Jules to toss a few back and then tell me they don’t have an * on each side of their helmet. That is all I see on that Flying Elvis. Oh and #fytb & #fyne

Melody–Thank God for these uniforms because it cuts down on my eye bleach bill from ghastly images like so:

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The only thing missing is the requisite metro sexual footwear of #FYTB so you’re welcome:

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Stuart–I like the Patriots uniforms, and feel dirty about liking them. The style with the trim around the jersey and the stripes down the pants is thumbs up. When so many teams keep uniforms solid and boring, at least the Pats have moved away from the norm. (editor note, Stu is a Brit, so give him a slight break)

New York Jets

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New York Jets Home Uniforms
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New York Jets Away Uniforms

Donte — They are the winner. Their uniforms are classic and they are one of the few teams that look good in the Color Rush. All the teams in AFCE are fine except for the cheaters. 🙂

Jason–Ever since the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets went for a darker green look, their uniforms look SO much better. I like the home unis with the dark green top and white pants, a lot. The all white away uniforms, however, look way too washed out to me, but the green pants with white tops isn’t terrible. And I love the iconic NY JETS logo on the helmet, since they went back to a previous logo rather than the Jets with a plane on their helmets.

Graham–The Jets come in 4th in my rankings because, well, their uniforms are just blah. I feel like whoever came up with them could have done a lot better. Overall, the Jets’ attire is lame. Boring. The helmet should really have an image of a…Jet. The home jersey has too much of the green color, just not a fan of it, the away jerseys are better.

Jules–If I had to wear these uniforms, I’d be a losing team, too. The only thing that saves them is tradition. Joe Namath could put one on under his fur coat and the fans would think it was from back in the day.

Kevin– Classic and simple, it’s a uniform and not a costume. When they switched back to these at some point in the mid 90’s it was an improvement over what Boomer Esiason used to wear, his weren’t horrid, but these are better.  Knowing that Namath wore the same look way back when, only solidified these uniforms as traditional which is a good thing in my eyes.

Melody–So this is what the color of utter failure looks like. I’m calling it Jet-fuel-propellant-for-your-dumpster-fire Green.  Loser green and white plain and simple.

Stuart–don’t like green but saying that the jets have very distinct and attractive style to their uniforms. The alternative colour scheme and same style on both home and away jerseys make them stand out in a crowd and i like the fact they use white pants for both.

Worst to first. One vote for team

4–NE* (JD,K,DC) Jets (SB, GT), Bills (JW)

3–Miami (JD,K, JW, SB,DC) Bills (GT)

2–Jets (JD,K, JW) NE* (SB, GT), Bills (DC)

1–Bills (JD,K, SB) Miami (GT), Jets (DC), NE* (JW) *as an aside, this editor may need to kick Jason out of the club. #FYTB* #FYNE*

I refuse to rank them they are all the enemy (MG)

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